The Mason Jar

I have an issue with peeing. I hate to do it (and most times can’t) in front of people. The times that W has urinated on me, marking me, are both incredibly humiliating and incredibly hot, both because it is humiliating, and because it makes me feel so fucking owned.  It’s hard to describe it any other way.
And the times that I have drunk his pee…
Yes. I’ve done that. I did it the other night. For the record, it tastes…musky. But it isn’t the taste of it that bothers me (well not that alone.) It’s the act of it, it’s the complicity involved in it. Because I have to choose to obey. I have to open my mouth, to take his cock into my mouth, I have to willingly let him pee into my mouth and swallow it. If I am tied or beaten and he pees on me, I have no choice. When he says, “Drink my piss,” well, I have to make the choice to do it. To choose to obey, to give him what he wants. To kneel down in front of him and take his cock out of his pants and place it, warm and soft, into my mouth. To wait until I feel it filling with his warm piss, unable to look at him but knowing he is watching me, watching the revulsion warring with my desire to please him, watching as I fight myself to do as he wants.
Today I uploaded a picture of me in my cage to Twitter (scroll down, it’s at the bottom.) And I was asked if my jailer let me out to use the facilities. “Don’t even get me started on that,” I said, remembering another time that I wasn’t let out to use the facilities.
He had lockweekendcage2ed me in the cage during a weekend long visit, which was a kind of respite for both of us from the intensity of the interactions we’d had up til then. It was playful and fun, and we both enjoyed talking, writing, laughing, and, occasionally, playing.
What he didn’t warn me about was that he wasn’t going to let me out to pee.
He brought me coffee and soda throughout the morning. And eventually, I had to do what comes naturally. “Will you unlock me?” I asked. “I have to go pee.” He just smiled, got up and went into the other room.  “Here you go,” he said, and handed me a mason jar. I looked at it blankly. “Excuse me?”
“That’s your bathroom.”
For quite a while I didn’t believe him, that he actually wanted me to piss in that jar. In front of him. I argued, I pleaded, I was frankly disbelieving.  Eventually, I realized he was serious. And my need to go to the bathroom gradually got more and more serious. Finally, I gave in.
I positioned myself over the mason jar, my face red with embarrassment. I implored him not to take any photos (I don’t recall if he did or not, now.) It was horrendously embarrassing to have to maneuver myself into that position, ungainly, awkward and graceless. Add that I was going to have to pee that way as well, and it was a long, miserable process.
But I had to try.  I really had to go. So, I gave in, I was in position…and I tried to pee in that fucking jar.
I tried and tried and tried.
I couldn’t do it.
Sitting there, crouched over that jar, trying to urinate and failing, over and over…god it was awful. So much so that when I actually, finally, managed to do it, it was almost a triumph. I succeeded! It was definitely a relief.
This past weekend, when they put me in the cage to write, I was very very careful about my fluid intake.
I do learn.

17 thoughts on “The Mason Jar

  1. Hi, are you me??
    I cannot pee on anyone. Can’t. Do it. Master pisses on me, I’ve drank His piss, and feel the same way about it that you do. Its hot and humiliating all at once. I’ve written about it on my blog, too, and to me, its a true manifestation of D/s. I can *tell* Him I’m His all I want, but if I never allow Him to do anything to prove that, they’re just empÞy words. Its proof that He owns me.
    He made me squat over a bucket to pee when I was chained to the bed and I *couldn’t* do it. I tried for so long, and had to go so badly, to no avail. He had the video camera out and I was crying because all I wanted to do was pee for Him, and I couldn’t. He eventually unchained me. He also tried setting up the tripod and leaving me alone in the bathroom to pee for Him on tape and I still couldn’t.
    I’m *so* jealous that you have a cage! I want one so badly and its one of the first things on our list for when/if we ever live together.

    1. If I am remembering correctly, I think it took W leaving the room (or at least turning his back) for me to finally be able to go. And I *still* shut the door to go pee the “regular” way! lmao

  2. Wow, a whole blog post just to answer my question! I’m flattered! LOL. Thank you for sharing, though! It sounds like a very intense experience!

    1. I know, isn’t that lovely how that works? One offhand comment, a snippet of conversation, something overheard, and off we go, writing away. I haven’t been long on Twitter, but I love the interaction and intersection of so many minds and thoughts and ideas. I’ve never been so filled with writing in my life.
      Thanks for the inspiration–and glad you enjoyed the result. 😉

    1. I agree, and actually it’s funny that until you pointed that out I wasn’t *exactly* sure what it was about the whole scenario (both, actually) that was so hugely erotic to me. Hmm, I feel another blog post coming on. 😀

  3. This post is TOTALLY HOT!!! How come I don’t know about you? My friend pennykarma & I were having lunch today and the topic of piss play came up, and she asked if I knew of your blog. I love knowing other local folks in the scene. And I did a photo shoot at your W’s house, I drooled at the sight of that cage! The pic of you touching yourself is SOOO hot! VERY EROTIC.

    1. Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere, TBK. Oddly enough, you DO know about me, or at least we have met in RL. It seems we have more than one friend in “common.”
      Hope you enjoy your rambles here.

  4. I guess I’m lucky.. I’ve had the pleasure of drinking down my wife’s piss.. her whole bladder on occasion. We live on some private acreage that allows us to have outdoor fun, be nude, etc… watching her pee, doing it on me, or in my mouth is awesome. The other-worldly-ness of it is so hot, the biofeedback aspects, the closeness it requires. Her laying her hairy pussy on my mouth knowing she’s going to release into me.. knowing she’s feeling her release into me is just something that I love.

  5. Sounds just like Brit. What you have taught me is to be more patient. Next time she WILL eventually pee for me.
    Love the cage. That could be our first peice of furnature together.

    1. Always glad to help in any way I can! 😉 And isn’t that perfect–other people buy a couch or a bed as their first piece of furniture as a couple…us kinky folk buy things like cages… (grin)

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