So hey, let’s get back to talking about fucking, shall we??!?
When last we left our intrepid heroine (moi, of course) and her faithful…er…semi-faithful?…okay, would-be manwhores-if-they-could-be companions (actually that’s not an exactly correct description either, but it sounded so good I had to type it, so we’ll leave it)…they were waving goodbye to the last of their party-hosts’ guests and settling down to the real business of the night: some hot sexy fun.
But first Jade had to be restrained and blindfolded. I know, how strange, right? Actually, the blindfold part is strange, and in fact I do not recall another time that I have been blindfolded for sex, and only my ex has done so for play. Of course that other time was for a slapping scene, not quite the same thing as happened here. In fact, this was about as far from a slapping or even BDSM scene as one could get, and still be tied up.
This was swinger BDSM.
Here’s the deal. I really cannot fathom getting off on a straight “vanilla” swinging situation. No matter how much I try, it just does nothing for me – unless W’s making me do it. It can be subtle, not really a directive at all, but more my own desire to please him, knowing what will do so; or, as in this situation (and in the time before that on the cruise) unsubtly: as in a direct order. I loved being told I was going to do it, period. Loved loved loved it. Didn’t want to to do it – for real, and not because I’m not attracted to S, our host, but just because…I assumed it would be vanilla sex and…well, see above. But…give me an order, tell me I have no choice, tell me to do it, and, hell… just remembering W telling me I was going to do it is making me wet all over again.
So, yeah. My orders for the night? “Make them all want you, Jade.” No, of course I can’t make anyone do/feel anything, but I knew what he was after, and I dressed appropriately, and turned on my flirt, and soon, well yeah, I think there may have been a chubby or two in the room.
And that kind of energy electrifies me. Makes me happy and flirty and bouncy and slutty. So by the time everyone left, W’s second directive of the night: make myself available to be fucked by our host, if he chose to do so, was an easy one to obey. It turned me on to know I was turning W on by doing what he wanted, by being the “party girl” he wanted me to be. S wanted me, that much was obvious, and his partner, J, was into the Guys, so…I behaved accordingly.
And then S brought out a pair of cuffs, and things got even more interesting. Because Jade’s second most-favorite thing, after being told what to do? Is being made to do something. Tie me, force me, make me helpless and unable to say no. “The thing I love about W tying Jade up,” our host had said earlier to the others, “is that once she’s tied up, she can’t get away, and I get to do what I want to her.”
Apparently we all like that.
So, there I was, on my knees, with wrists in cuffs and secured to the door frame. And S asked W for his assistance in tying my legs apart.
Here’s the difference between W and vanilla guys, tho (and what we do and “Swinger BDSM.”) S just wanted me secured so that he could fuck me, more a mental securing than something to cause real discomfort. W spread my legs and then tipped me so that I was balancing on my knees, and then tied my ankles, tight, into a position that would be (and was) murder to maintain, especially when there’s 200 pounds of rutting male banging into you from behind. Not so much Swinger (Fucking) BDSM. Remember “Sometimes, I don’t want to be half-killed in some spectacularly intense bondage scene. Sometimes, I just want to be tied up and fucked“? Yeah, that. The funny part is that, observing W’s handiwork, S said almost the same thing. “I don’t want to hurt you, I want to fuck you,” he said. I was down with that. Apparently sometimes I want Swinger BDSM, too.
But it’s still gotta be BDSM. There still has to be the mental headspace: “Your instructions are to fuck him if he wants to.” (Check.) And it’s even better if there’s the physical aspect: Jade tied up, unable to resist? (Check.) Even better was looking over and seeing my Guys watching. They had J, the “she” of the couple, between them on the couch. Ad was playing with her cunt and W was mauling her breasts.
But their eyes were on me, at least momentarily. And for that moment, it was blazingly hot, everything I could have hoped for. My Guys watching me get fucked by someone else–even while they had another woman in their arms.
Yeah, I’m that kind of selfish bitch. And that’s why swinging doesn’t work so well for me. All my attention, even when I’m being fucked by someone else, is attuned to them. I can’t help it. I’m there for them, I’m being fucked by W, even when someone else’s cock is inside of me. When I perceive that I don’t have that same level of attention–well then my “hot” goes away. It sucks. It’s a delicate balancing act, for them and for me. How to keep myself attuned enough to the other guy so that he gets what he wants, while most of my attention is focused on the Guys. And for them, how to balance their very real interest in this other woman with paying enough attention to me. I don’t like being that needy. I don’t like that I want their attention so much. But I do. And there’s just nothing to be done for it.
Being within touching distance helps. If I can be there, at least able to touch her or them, that helps me feel a part of things. And–maybe–if we did the separate room thing, that could work, because then I wouldn’t be able to be the center of attention for them, and they could focus on her without worrying that I’d be feeling left out (and yeah, I know how fucked up and selfish it is to feel “left out” when I am being fucked by someone else.) But of course then I would lose a big part of it for me–knowing that they are watching and enjoying watching me get fucked. Feeling like I am being made to fuck for their pleasure. I don’t know. We’re still working on how to make this work for us all.
As it was, I knew that they were enjoying her and what they were doing. I knew that I had done what W wanted, and I had seen the pleasure and heat in his face when he saw me being tied into the doorframe, so it was all good. I would make it work.
And then the world went dark.
As I mentioned, I haven’t had a blindfold used on me much since the Ex. “I like to see the look in your eyes,” W has said many times. Cool…
But being denied sight does some interesting things to the rest of your senses. Sharpens them. Makes you focus in ways you might not otherwise. And suddenly I was all about touch and sound.
Moans, grunts, sighs. A sharp breath, a growl of satisfaction. The feel of S’s hands on my flesh, of his flesh meeting mine, of his body, heavy and insistent.
And in my mind, I imagined that the Guys were watching me. That watching me was turning them on, and that they were using that heat to fuel their interactions with her, the same way I used my own excitement over them watching me to turn me on, to make me whine and mewl and come when S fucked me on the floor. And later, when the blindfold came off, and I could “help” a bit with touches here and there, I thoroughly enjoyed watching them take her, first one and then the other. I love watching my Guys fuck, if I can at least “assist” in some small way. And I loved the sound and sight of Ad coming in her mouth, something he is seldom able to do with anyone but me.
So, yeah, it all worked out in the end.
Will we do it again? I don’t know. Ad is still fairly ambivalent about the actual sex part, tho he loves the atmosphere. And W and I are still trying to find our way to making it work for us both. It’s definitely not a closed door…but not one that is wide open, either. We’ll see.
So hey, let’s get back to talking about fucking, shall we??!?