No, “plugged” wasn’t one of the prompts for my February Photofest, but it is the prompt for both this week’s Revelations and the Kink of the Week, so how could I resist? It is a much-loved topic of mine.
I love anal play of all sorts, because of the pleasurable aspects (there are a fuckton of nerve endings in the anus that all come alive when things are done to it or put in it) but also because of the psychological aspects: shame, embarrassment and humiliation play is HAWT. But more than that, there’s this deep sense of vulnerability that goes along with it, of allowing oneself to be opened, explored, exposed in this way. And invaded. Violated.
If he/she inserts it, that’s one thing – I love feeling overwhelmed and overtaken by another. Physically made to open up to them, my body forced open to accept this piece of glass, or wood, or silicone.
Then there is when they order it. When they tell me to put it in, when they dictate when and what and for how long. Suddenly I am complicit in the act, and that does so many things to my head. Obeying, without question, no matter how shameful it feels.
The Hypnotist and I bought the rosebud plug when we were out of town last. I don’t know if he picked it for its beauty or its size or both (or neither.) Maybe its color? But it has quickly become my favorite, and when he says, “put in your plug,” there is no doubt in my mind which of the several several that I have that he means.
He’s been telling me to wear it more often, and I am filled with both trepidation and excitement about the prospect of him instructing me to wear it in public. It hasn’t happened yet, but I am hopeful/anxious. I’ve taken to (without his instruction) carrying it everywhere it my purse.
The other day he told me to wear it for several hours during my workday. There’s no “not-knowing” that it’s there, it’s just not something you forget is being done to you, no matter how busy you get. I love this reminder of his control over me; of my submission to him; of this surrendering of my bodily autonomy. Such a (relatively) small and yet powerful thing.
In any case, I had been wearing it for several hours, getting progressively more and more aroused. And the more turned on I became, the more my awareness was drawn to the plug in my ass. Until finally I texted him.
“May I cum for you Sir?”
“You may,” he said. “With your plug in.”
Now here’s a weird/sad thing: as much as I love the feeling of having my ass filled while I masturbate, I cannot bring myself to use a buttplug or a dildo in my ass, without being told to. Hell, I can’t even ask to do it with a buttplug in. In fact, as I was writing this, laying naked and lazy next to K after a warm bath and feeling myself getting more and more aroused, wanting desperately to push my plug into my ass and make myself cum, the most I could do was whisper – my face pressed between his neck and the pillow – “I’m really horny. I really want to use Baldy (my hitachi).” What I wanted to say was, “Make me put my plug in and fuck myself for you…”
But I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
Okay, what did happen was pretty stupidly hot, so I’m not complaining, but still. The next thing I knew he had rolled up on his side next to me, shoved a finger into my mouth and then further back, to that place in the back of my throat where I almost (and sometimes do) gag and then began stroking. And fuck if that doesn’t work like his fingers in my cunt.
And then the fingers of his other hand were in my cunt, and it took about a minute or less and I was cumming, gagging around his fingers in my mouth and pumping against his fingers in my cunt.
Whew – that was a hot digression. *fans self* Where was I? Oh yes, headed up to my lovely sunny bedroom with my lovely purple rosebud buttplug in my ass. And my gaze fell on my purple glass dildo. And I knew I had to have it in my cunt while my glass plug was in my ass.
The feeling of being filled that thoroughly by all that glass, their heaviness, their smooth, slippery contours…I’m having a hard time describing how wonderful it was.
Of course I took a photo to send to Sir.