It was long ago. But not in another galaxy, though really? When I think about it, when I feel it? It does feel like another world.
Hey hello! Here I am, back in the world. The blogging world. I’ve started and stopped so many times in the past 5 years… I need to do this, though. I need to write. I need to write in a place that can be seen. Yeah I don’t know what that says about me. And really, at 55 and feeling like a 30-year-old? I don’t give a flying fuck what that says about me., about the “kind of person” I am. I just want – I just need – to be able to be out here.
Molly’s Daily Kiss’ post about fucking brought out it out in me, the willingness to be out here again. Of course I can’t be out in the usual places, not in my other spaces, in the places I had built and called my own. My kinky homes. So instead, I am back where it all began. Back with W (how I wish that were so. Still. After all these years.) But no, I he is long gone and I am using the space I created for us. I have not one doubt that he would object. In fact, if he’s watching from somewhere, I know he’s raising his fist in celebration. Congratulating me and asking me why it took me so long.
I thought about deleting all the content and starting over, and I may still do that. I believe it deserves a face lift, at least. Maybe. Maybe I will just write here and fuck how it looks, or what’s behind it. As for all of the stories of our life together, of my life…should I erase them in the service of moving forward? …
I don’t think so. We’ll see.
/end of scary exploration of putting myself out here in the world again
Is there more to come?
PS This is mostly just a test, to see what happens when I post something here…